Sunday, May 27, 2012

104 Days

"104 Days" sounds like a bad movie title.

In actuality, it's the number of days until the first Sunday of regular-season NFL.

Now, I'm aware that not everyone loves football as much as I do. But that's okay!  Because I'm going to compile a list of reasons why non-sports-watchers can look forward to NFL season as much as I do:

1) Gambling.  Everyone can enjoy gambling, even if they aren't a video poker star or a big Vegas fanatic. If you put money on football, you are guaranteed to start caring about the games every Sunday, even if you don't know what the hell is going on.  Pull out your wallets, y'all. You might (probably) go broke, but you'll also start finding football games to be actually interesting. Win-win....just make sure to save enough money for reason #3 on this list.


 

2) An excuse to eat junk.  I'd be willing to wager that most people can't really justify eating a vat of melted Velveeta or bacon-wrapped bacon every day of their lives. But during football season, you're allowed to eat like a fatass without judgement!  Sure, you'll gain five pounds every Sunday, but you won't have to think about it until Monday morning.  Bonus: football jerseys are very forgiving clothing items. Everyone looks kind of like a lumpy sack in them, so no one will notice the pudge you've gotten from eating one too many cheeseburgers.

 A staple for many fatty football recipes, and one of the only things I like about Philly. (www.kraftbrands.com)

3) Day drinking.  This is last on my list, but it's probably the reason that has the most pull.  Everyone I know is at least a borderline alcoholic.  This means they search for reasons (however invalid those reasons may be) to booze it up while the sun's still a-shinin'.  No one will ever judge you for drinking all day on an Autumn Sunday while watching football.  If anyone does give you any shit, just call them un-American. Works every time. If you hate sports, here's your perk: you don't even have to watch the game!  Just go to a sports bar and sit on the patio while sipping (read: chugging) a Budweiser:




If those reasons aren't good enough, then you obviously don't like awesomeness.  And if that's the case, I'd just go away now.
Join me in my countdown, y'all!

XOXO,
Caroline

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