Don't Google This.

Sometimes I jot down a few words to remind myself of something I want to write about or look up later. For this purpose I carry small notebooks in my purse.* I remembered I had written something down after an entertaining conversation with my boyfriend, and I flipped through my current notepad until I found it. It was written in hurried, messy writing, but I'm 99.3% sure that it says "peeing Japanese people." Umm, what? Naturally I Googled it in attempt to find out what.the.hell. we could have been talking about. Bad idea. Obviously I am not looking for anime porn. Just peeing Japanese people. Give me a break, Google!

So I wrote all of that down after Googling that phrase. Then I apparently wrote "how to use a Japanese toilet." I was probably sure I'd remember why I jotted that down, but now it is weeks later, and I'm wondering what that was all about. Well, this was the first search result I found. Clearly I should be prohibited from Googling things.

I'm thinking I need to find some legitimate hobbies before I get carried away and start looking up the proper style for using toilets in every country on the planet.



*Small notebooks also make great gifts. A lovely, lovely friend named after Ariel's nemesis gave me a badass Yellow Submarine notepad for my birthday...

Ok, so she's way hotter than this "sea witch," and she totally wasn't named after this ugly thing. But still.

...and my always-on-point boyfriend hit a home run with a cutesy floral design and some nice Paper Mate pens on Valentine's Day. (I think he just wanted me to stop stealing pens from the bar where he works, but we'll pretend it was a romantic gesture.)


XOXO.

Really important update!

Here are a few things I don't understand:

• "Professional" documents typed in Comic Sans. Really, what is that about? I never even understood why people in middle school made that their font on AOL Instant Messenger, so why would anyone ever trust a law firm or dentist's office that advertises with it? Oh, and don't get me started on Dan Gilbert of the Cavaliers. (Additionally, that article implies that it IS okay to use Comic Sans ironically, but please note: that is seriously not the case. It's only okay if you're using it in a blog, as a caption on a photo of Summer Roberts.)

• On a related note: NBA. I'm a sports fanatic, but NBA makes no sense to me. You know what does make sense to me? My boyfriend:

(See? NFL > NBA. Duh.)

• One shoe on the side of the road. You know what I'm talking about. You're walking or driving down the road and you see one shoe. Not a pair of shoes. Just one. And this is not a rare occurrence. On any given road, at any given time, you're basically guaranteed to find a shoe. Where is the other one? Did you decide to just throw one out of the window along with your empty McDonald's cup? Why is there a child's shoe in the gutter? Were they kidnapped? I'm sorry, there are just too many questions with regard to this.

That's really it. I want to talk about Jerry Jones and people who put beer on ice, but my battery life is limited, and I'm in a totally poppin' bar where I'm the only customer, so clearly I have a lot of things to attend to.
XOXO, Caroline. (Dammit, Gossip Girl!)