Skip to about 1:05.
I guess I could just post the lyrics, but I always like to make an attempt at a critique...
If I could have a beer with Jesus
Heaven knows I'd sip it nice and slow
I'd try to pick a place that ain't too crowded
Or gladly go wherever he wants to go
I feel like the establishments you frequent probably don't serve wine, and that's really the only thing ol' Jesus really drinks. That's the most fundamental problem with this song. Can he turn Busch Light into wine? I'll have to consult my religious friends about this. (Okay, I asked a questionably-religious person. Apparently, no, Jesus cannot turn cheap beer into wine.)
True dat.
You can bet I'd order up a couple tall ones
Tell the waitress put 'em on my tab
I'd be sure to let him to the talkin'
Careful when I got the chance to ask
How generous. Jesus DIED for you, dude. Simply paying his bar tab for a night seems kind of cheap of you, doesn't it?
How'd you turn the other cheek
To save a sorry soul like me?
Do you hear the prayers I send?
What happens when life ends?
And when you think you're comin' back again?
I'd tell everyone, but no one would believe it
If I could have a beer with Jesus
It's kind of funny that no one would believe you...because to be honest, having a beer with Jesus isn't much more ridiculous than half the shit that happens in the Bible.
If I could have a beer with Jesus
I'd put my whole paycheck in that jukebox
Fill it up with nothing but the good stuff
Sit somewhere we couldn't see a clock
I'm pretty sure "The Good Stuff" is also the title of a song by a much better country recording artist than you. His name is Kenny Chesney, and Jesus would probably prefer to have a beer with him. If he's going to drink with a hick in a dive bar, he should make the most of his time and sip a Bud with a Grammy nominee.
Ask him how'd you turn the other cheek
To save a sorry soul like me?
Have you been there from the start?
How'd you change a sinner's heart?
And is heaven really just beyond the stars?
I'd tell everyone, but no one would believe it
If I could have a beer with Jesus
No, he hasn't been there "from the start." You're most likely talking to some trust-fund "hippie" who goes by the name Jesus, not the son of God. He just digs the free booze. So he's probably only been there since 10 p.m.
He can probably only stay for just a couple rounds
But I hope and pray he's stayin' til we shut the whole place down
If God and Jesus are legit, they're probably the last people (or, uh, weird father-son-holy ghost trio-thing) that I would want to see at last call. Judgement day does NOT need to happen when I'm a complete shit-show at 2:00 in the morning.
Ask him how'd you turn the other cheek
To save a sorry soul like me?
What's on the other side?
Is mom and daddy all right?
And if it ain't no trouble tell them I said "hi"
I'd tell everyone, but no one would believe it
If I could have a beer with Jesus
I'd tell everyone, but no one would believe it
If I could have a beer with Jesus
Really? "Is" mom and daddy all right? No, they "ain't." Actually, they is disappointed 'cause you don't know no good grammar.
Uhh, you can buy that shirt here.
Again, I'm wondering why I listen to this stuff on a regular basis.
XOXO,
C-Dawg, the girl with poor taste in music.
